Faith (left)and I broke office birthday parties.
It started innocently enough. One year, my colleague Faith and I, each with single-digit April birthdates, realized our combined ages added to 100. Since a centennial birthday doesn’t come around every year, we decided to spring for cake.
There were 24-some people on staff at the time. Unbeknownst to Faith and me, the idea of a centennial birthday party captured the imagination of one of our youngest colleagues. She took the idea and ran with it, organizing others to bring “a hundred of something.” For example, I remember 100 individually wrapped Life Savers™ and, we were assured, there were 100 pretzels in the bowl. Others brought a single bloom to add to a vase, creating a potpourri arrangement. I think there was punch.
It turns out, six years into the new organization, staff needed a little party. So.much.laughing. People mingled across teams. We set out the cake at 3:30. At 5:30, Faith flicked the florescent lights and started cleaning up, saying, “Go, home! Really now, go home!”
And that, we thought, was that. Except it wasn’t. Our party began an extensive discussion of how staff should–and most important, should not–celebrate birthdays. At least three times, birthday protocol was a discussion item on our staff-meeting agenda. How could we ensure equitable distribution of birthday attention across teams? What if you didn’t want birthday attention? Several proposals were considered, each lacking in some way. Finally, we arrived at consensus: a birthday person could bring a treat to the office—or not—and that should be that.
At the time, I believed these were the silliest of silly conversations to occupy staff-meeting time. I was wrong. Over the years, I experienced many contenders for Silliest Meeting-Topic. And, I came to appreciate how office birthday practices are wrapped in issues.
Jim’s team takes him out for a birthday lunch? This can be an economic hardship for some. Others can’t afford the two hours they end up being away from the office. Birthday Sally brings around a wonderful sweet treat? Even with good reasons to say “no, thank you,” there is pressure, real and imagined, to say, “yes, please.” Simply pass a birthday card for everyone to sign? Administrative Assistant Amy gets the job of tracking birthdays, procuring the cards, and finding the card stuck in someone’s in-out tray.
The knurliest issue underlying office birthday practices, however, is the real threat of workplace ageism. Not wanting to celebrate your birthday at the office? At the time of our centennial party, I couldn’t imagine it. Fifteen years later, I was a believer. That year, when people who gathered to sing “Happy Birthday” asked me how old I was, I smiled and said, “old enough to know better.”
For related posts, visit http://sue.edison-swift.com/category/on-the-job-lessons/
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